The Price of Peace

Today's story doesn't come from the Bible. Yet, it is true, if one can consider dreams "true".

Years ago, shortly after we moved to the house we are in now, I had a dream. It was similar to dreams I had had before. Yet, this one affected me differently.

You see, I grew up in a culture without TV, or movies. I read books about real people and historical events. Corrie ten Boom was as familiar a name to me as Cinderella might be to other children. When other children were having nightmares about boogeymen and space aliens, I had nightmares based on what I had been filling my mind with: stories of persecution and war.

I understood early on that history repeats itself, and the importance of standing up for what is right and good. Although I didn't have many opportunities to actually stand up for anything, since my life was so sheltered.

Our culture taught pacifism. 

Personally, I embraced the goal of PEACE.

Peace is a beautiful thing: an important goal in this chaotic and busy world. "As much as possible, live at peace with all men." (Romans 12:18)  kind of ended up being my life goal. Of course, I often failed miserably, but peace was what I strove for.

Then, one night I had a dream. 

IT had come. The time we knew would eventually come, even to our quiet, rural neighborhood. The "bad guys", whoever they were (my dream didn't tell me) were rounding people up. People who were considered, "troublemakers".  I'm not sure why we were called: troublemakers, but most of my friends and family landed in that category.

I said nothing.

I continued on as if things were the same as one by one my friends and family were taken away. Doing what I could to subtly help, to stall the inevitable, but there really wasn't anything I could do to stop this.

One day they came for me. 

My neighbors and acquaintances assured the bad guys that I was no threat. I kept to myself and didn't make waves. I was nice to everyone. 

I was allowed to stay.

I watched the bad guys leave with the last of my people.

I smiled at my neighbors, but inside I was not happy.

I wanted to chase after the huge, armored trucks and shout, "TAKE ME TOO!".

But I stayed quiet. 

The rest of my life would be spent pretending to be someone I wasn't so that I could stay alive.

FOR WHAT?!

Was life so valuable that I would live a lie, alone?! 

One beautiful day, (in my dream world) I was with a group of people. Maybe we were in a neighbor's living room. They were smiling and happy. I smiled too and chatted with them, weighing my words so I wouldn't offend. -so, I wouldn't make waves. Ignoring comments that cut me inside. Not agreeing. Not disagreeing. Just being nice. 

Never again would I have a deep conversation with someone close to me about things that really mattered. No one left would understand. 

I went back to my home. So alone. 

Fed physically yet starving spiritually.

I woke up wishing I had made some waves. -wishing I had shouted the truth from the housetops. Somehow, sweet fellowship in a prison camp sounded more appealing than this life I had chosen by being nice. 

I told myself that, in time, I would find new friends, other people who would love the light and LIFE! Maybe I could bring peace yet. Maybe some of my acquaintances would change their opinion in favor of the truth.

I hid the truth carefully, hoping that someday someone would ask, and I would be able to tell them. But no one wanted to know.  They didn't care. They were proud of me for not making waves. But I wasn't proud of myself. 

I felt sick. I was worse than the "bad guys". At least they didn't hide who they were. People respected the confident, terrible ones. 

Was it respect I wanted? maybe. 

I thought it was freedom, but I had a sort of freedom. My needs were all met, and I could come and go freely. In my quiet home I could say whatever I wanted. No gates or bars kept me in, yet I was not free. 

I had that dream maybe 15- 20 years ago. But, unlike nightmares of being on the run, or hiding people in my closet, this one affected me. In fact, part of the reason I started this blog is because of that dream. I think, at first, I reacted by making too many waves and in the process offended and hurt people.  But my goal is to encourage everyone to speak the truth, in love, without fear.

I have a hard time believing that "bad guys" will come up our mountain road and start rounding people up. That would be a very extreme situation. But many situations have come up since then when I was gently reminded of that dream, and sometimes, I spoke the truth even if it might make waves. 

The Man who Forgot the Plan (part 3)

 This will probably be my final story in this series on King Saul. 

This section begins in I Samuel 14:47. 

King Saul's army has been very busy. It seems that being like everyone else and having a king, means that everyone wants a turn at testing just how strong your kingdom is. 

Saul's army was undefeated. in every battle, in every war, they came out on top. 

Our story begins when one day, Samuel came to visit Saul. It was time to remember a group of people whom God had been waiting to punish. Patiently giving them time to turn from their evil ways, the infamous Amalekites!

This is a tough story for me to write. How can I rejoice when people are destroyed? Even if they are 'bad guys'? 

My perspective of God is that He is a God of mercy. His will is that no one will perish. But He also doesn't force people to obey Him. Psalm 83 uses some strong language to describe what will happen to the enemies of God and His people. But the last two verses explain the reason. The goal is that the people will realize the power of God that is above all other powers. And that they will turn to Him and seek him. Sometimes a gentle whisper, a dream, or miracle turns people to God. Sometimes it takes war. I hate war. But the purpose is the same. That people will come to a realization that God exists.

 Before I talk more about the Amalekites, I want to go back to Jericho. You see, Jericho had a day when its time was up also. But, Rahab, and her family were spared. Why? Because they acknowledged two things. One: God is the one true God. He is greater than all other gods. Two: God has given Israel the land. Maybe I am ignorant, but I believe the story of Rahab proves that, here in I Samuel, if an Amalekite decided they agreed with those two truths, they would also have been spared. 

Another hint that backs up this theory is in I Samuel 15:6. Samuel warned the Kenites to leave the camp of the Amalekites. They had been kind to Israel and were spared. But evidently the Amalekites were too hard-hearted to take this warning for themselves as well. This wasn't a surprise attack. They had been warned, since the time of Moses, that this day was coming. But it is still very sad that it came.

Amalekite means, one who licks blood. Go ahead, google it! These nomadic people lived to steal, kill and destroy. Unlike the Philistines, who sent out their strongest warriors to fight the strongest men of their enemies, the Amalekites attacked the weakest and most vulnerable. 

The first time the Israelites met them was in the wilderness. The children of Israel had recently left Egypt. They were hungry and thirsty and hot. The weakest people lagged behind the caravan of newly escaped slaves, stopping frequently to rest. The bloodthirsty (literally) Amalekites watched from behind rocks and thickets, like jackals, ready to pounce. The Israelites posed no threat to them. They had nothing to offer them. They were both nomadic people at that time, traveling through a desert region. The Amalekites brutally attacked the weak people. The ones who couldn't defend themselves.

There are bad guys and then there are truly evil people.

Bad guys steal money. Evil people steal family pictures and burn them in front of their victims. They don't need, or even want the pictures, they just want to be cruel.

The Amalekites were evil. For some reason they decided to settle close to the same area as the Israelites did. As far as I know, Joshua wasn't instructed to destroy them. None of the prophets between Joshua and Saul were instructed to punish the Amalekites. Yet, often they were there, breathing down the backs of the people of God. Attacking when people were least expecting them too. Agag was the king of the Amalekites during the reign of Saul. King Agag was responsible for cruelly attacking many innocent people in the area -not just Israelites. Many mothers were grieving the loss of their children, because of King Agag. His name brought fear into the hearts of many in that region. 

So, when Samuel, the prophet of God, told King Saul that it was time to punish the Amalekites, Saul was ready to do just that. The goal of this battle was that no one would identify themselves as a bloodthirsty Amalekite anymore. The cultural traditions of killing the most vulnerable for the thrill of it would be destroyed. Every. Single. Item. Was to be destroyed. 

But King Saul didn't go into this battle to defend the weak and vulnerable people whom King Agag had tortured. He didn't attack Amalek to avenge the blood of the innocent. He went into battle thinking of himself. Another trophy on the wall. Another conquered king to add to his collection. He came back with booty and King Agag in chains. He proudly paraded them all the way home. 

King Saul's army destroyed the disgusting, creepy things they found, but some stuff was good. And some of the animals were in good shape, so they brought those along too. That sounds reasonable. It makes sense to not destroy useful things. But somehow, I am reminded of something I read somewhere. Maybe it was Abraham who said it, "That you won't be able to say, 'I made him rich.'" 

We follow this same concept today. Morally, would it be right to use money that was taken from drug dealers? Of course not. That money represents people's lives destroyed by destructive habits.

Samuel saw the situation through spiritual lenses. When he heard the parade of animals, he felt sick. King Saul, the charming young man whom he had anointed king, the first king of Israel, had fallen in love with himself. This was not the first time in his life Samuel had had to go to someone he loved very much and tell them God was not pleased with their choices. But, unlike Eli, who had agreed that he deserved the bad news, Saul defended his choices. He argued and explained and whined. He blamed the people. He cried. But Samuel didn't budge.

"To obey is better than sacrifice (I Samuel 15:22b)." Samuel told him. And then came the final blow. "Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from being king (I Samuel 15:23)."

More tears and pleading from the big king. Then begging Samuel to just come with him and pretend everything was okay so the people wouldn't know.

Finally, Samuel says, "Saul. I can't go with you. You have rejected the word of the God, so He has rejected you from being king."

With that Samuel turned to walk away. Saul grabbed Samuel to stop him from leaving and a piece of cloth tore off in his hand. Saul stood there holding the torn cloth. Samuel turned to face him, more sad than angry. "Just like that the Lord has torn the kingdom from you and given it to a neighbor who is better than you." 

Saul seemed to start off right. He sought God and listened to advice at first. But as he got more comfortable in his role as king, he forgot the purpose of the Kingdom of Israel. He made choices to exalt the name of Saul instead of the name of the LORD. So, God looked for someone else who had a better memory. David made some really, really bad decisions also. But David never lost sight of God's plan. He had a heart after God. 

The Man who Forgot the Plan (part 2)

 Sorry it took me so long to get back to the story of King Saul. I got distracted by Esther. 

Why Esther?

Because, I discovered that Saul and Esther were both from the tribe of Benjamin! Maybe you already knew that.  -maybe I heard it before too but forgot. I guess that's how it goes with "discoveries," they usually have previously been "discovered"! 

Hear me out though, not only were they from the same tribe, but the name, "Kish the Benjamite" appears in both Mordecai's and Saul's genealogies.   Mordecai's Grandfather was Shimei who, at one point, cursed Kind David! But, I am getting sidetracked. Let's go back to young King Saul, small in his own eyes, a new hero for the people of Israel.

1 Samuel chapter 13 contains the next main story in King Saul's life. It begins by recording that Saul was thirty years old when he became king and he reigned for forty-two long years. I don't know how old he was at this time, but he had been King long enough to get an army together. His son, Jonathan, was old enough to be a soldier. And, here come the Philistines. Their old rivals.

It seems the Philistines and Israelites fought regularly. I'm glad we have organized sports now. Football season is more palatable than war season. But, evidently battles were all the rage back then, so, for whatever reason, Jonathan decided to strike first that year. The Philistines were, understandably, upset and ready to fight. However, Jonathan's Dad had only given him 1,000 soldiers, and, now that the Philistines were bringing in the big guns, it was time to call in the reinforcements. 

As soon as Saul heard that his son was in over his head, he sent out the alarm. He called for the reserve soldiers and anyone who could help. Israelites near the battlefield watched as the Philistine army grew every day. Many people hid in caves, or cellars, or even fled the country. 30,000 Philistine chariots ready to fight against 3,000 Israeli soldiers. It didn't look promising.

But, now they had a king, just like the Philistines. The soldiers were scared, but they showed up, for the most part. Their king would tell them what to do.

Now, Saul knew that even though he was "king", he couldn't just go to war without God on their side. He knew they would need divine favor to win against the Philistine army. 

Samuel was the prophet at that time. He was the one who was in charge of making the sacrifices and communicating with God. Samuel told Saul he would meet him in Gilgal in 7 days.

So, here Saul is, waiting in Gilgal for Samuel to show up and bless the army so they can go to battle, but Samuel is nowhere around. The army is already super nervous. People are getting impatient, and some are leaving. Saul might not have an army left if Samuel doesn't show up soon.

Day 7 arrives, and Samuel still isn't there. The soldiers start packing up to go home. Wait! Saul is king, right? Why are we waiting for old Samuel? Saul knows where the animals are to sacrifice. He has watched Samuel do it many times.

"Go get the sacrifice!" he orders.

Soon Saul is offering sacrifices to God and asking for His blessing.

Of course, he is just finishing the ceremony when who should show up but Samuel! 

Saul went out to meet him, but he didn't even have a chance to say, "Shalom!" 

Samuel said, "WHAT... HAVE... YOU... DONE?" 

Evidently Saul knew more than he let on, because he knew exactly what Samuel was referring to. And, like any King, or human, he blamed everyone else. 

"The people said they were all going to leave, and the Philistines were right over there about to attack us, and you weren't coming! I HAD to sacrifice. I didn't want to, but they made me do it. It wasn't my fault!!" King Saul blubbered frantically.

Samuel didn't feel sorry for him, or for the people.

"That wasn't a very smart thing to do, Saul." Samuel said. "If you had made better choices, then God would have chosen to continue your line as King, but, since you decided you didn't need to listen to God's commandments, and you decided you could just make up your own rules about who could do the sacrificing around here, guess what? God has His eye on someone else who will make a much better king than you! This man has a heart after God." with that, Samuel left.

King Saul decided to regroup and see how many soldiers he had: 600

That was all that was left.

Not only that, but no one had swords except for Saul and Jonathan. See, the Philistines were the blacksmiths. So, if anyone needed anything sharpened, they had to cross enemy lines, including swords!

Well, they were in it too far to back out now. 

The Philistines were preparing to attack. 

Young Jonathan turned to his armor bearer and asked him if he would go with him to attack a group of Philistines. He had a great idea and the faith that God would help them, even though they were severely outnumbered. His armor bearer agreed, and they snuck off without telling Saul. They ended up climbing up a cliff area and killing 20 Philistines. 

I guess this really caught the Philistines off guard. I Samuel 14:15 says they all started shaking so badly that the ground trembled. 

Saul's watchman saw the once intimidating Philistine army melting away and immediately reported to Saul what he was seeing. It appeared someone was attacking their enemy.

"Quick! Count everyone and see who isn't here!" Saul commanded.

It was Jonathan and his armor bearer!

Saul went to talk with Abijah, the local priest. He was a grandson of Eli (the priest who raised Samuel). He asked him to bring the ark of the covenant. As Saul and Abijah talked the commotion got louder on the battlefield. Hebrews who had joined the Philistines switched sides and started fighting with Jonathan. People came out of hiding to join the fight. The Philistines were on the run, but the farther they ran the more Hebrews they met, running to join the fight. 

Saul quickly told his men (I guess the 600-man army that was still with him) that anyone who ate anything that day would be cursed. No stopping to eat! They had a war to win! 
By late afternoon the soldiers were dragging. The battle had led them into a wooded area. Jonathan hadn't heard his father's order. Seeing a beehive, he stuck the end of his spear into the hive and ate some honey. 

"Guys, come over here. I found some honey!" I imagine Jonathan inviting. 

Everyone just stood there staring at him. Exhausted from the battle, but loyal to the king. 

"Your Dad told us we would be cursed if we ate anything before sunset." someone explained,

Jonathan looked at these hardworking, brave men. They were obviously exhausted. A bit of honey would give them the boost of energy they needed to continue. But no one dared to cross the king. 

When night fell, the soldiers came across a heard of animals, they began killing them and eating the meat raw they were so hungry. 

Saul built an altar, so they could cook their meat. Then, he suggested they attack at night next time.

"As you wish." his loyal men agreed.

So, Saul went to find Abijah and ask him if God was okay with them continuing the fight at night. But, he received no answer.

"God isn't answering me! Who sinned? Somebody sinned!" Saul demanded. "Find out who sinned. Whoever sinned will die, even if it is my own son, he will die."

No one spoke. Jonathan was a hero. All he had done was eat a bit of honey. He hadn't even heard the command. He didn't deserve death. The command was a manmade rule and Saul was treating it as if it was a law of God. Not one person revealed Jonathan's "sin."

Saul was a king, not a priest, and definitely not a god! 

Saul drew lots and it came up that Jonathan was at fault. When he questioned him, Jonathan admitted his wicked act of eating honey during the day and agreed he deserved to die. 

The people wouldn't hear of it.

"If it wasn't for Jonathan we would have lost the battle!" they cried. "Please, he didn't do anything worthy of death."

Saul had no choice but to listen. He calmed down. He packed up and went home. Everyone went home, even the Philistines. 

And, that was the end of the battle. Israel had won. But, somehow, Saul had lost. He had lost the kingdom, Samuel's support, and the respect of the people. Even Jonathan didn't look at him the same way. Although it would be a long time before Jonathan would admit that his dad couldn't be trusted with the kingdom. This was the day Saul changed from being a humble servant of God, to a prideful, know-it-all. This was the beginning of the pride that led to his fall.