Wednesday, April 24, 2024

The Night Everything Went Wrong


I have nights like that too Peter. 

-nights when everything I say seems to be wrong and everything I do is either too much, or not enough.




That Footwashing Episode 💦

Sometimes I feel unworthy.

"Don't wash MY feet!"

...and then, I go to the other extreme...

"Wash my head too!"

If I had been paying attention, maybe I would have understood. 

Why not just let Jesus wash my feet? Why did I have to open my mouth?! Why am I like that sometimes?


Awake When I Should Sleep, Asleep When I Should... Pray 🙏

Sometimes I don't realize the seriousness of the situation. 

I'm trusting and letting go and resting. Isn't that the right thing to do?

I see now that it was time to be WATCH and PRAY!

It was going to be a long night. 


He Said Something About a Sword 🗡

Sometimes I think I am listening and obeying.

...defending my master by, cutting off someone's ear...

"Those who live by the sword, die by the sword."

Why did I think He needed me to defend him? How could I have gotten this so wrong?

The last words Jesus spoke to him before he was crucified- a reprimand. 😢


Failing the Test I was Clearly Warned About 🐓

Peter was warned EXACTLY what was going to happen. 

I too get myself into situations, knowing full well what the outcome of my actions will be. 

What was I thinking? 

Did I think it wouldn't matter? -that I wouldn't feel like a failure afterwards?

Denying my Lord, my best friend... Why? -when I was so brave an hour ago! 

Suddenly, too afraid to acknowledge that I am with HIM!

"...when the cock crew he went out and cried bitterly..."

What a horrible, terrible night when everything went so wrong!

Oh, to wake up from such a night and realize it was just a dream.


Then He Died

No, not Peter. 

Judas Iscariot died.

Jesus died.

But Peter was very much alive.

I would be replaying that night in my head.

Why did I say that?

Why did I do that?

But it was too late now. It was over.

Three days and three nights of ...wishing a redo was possible.


Jesus said, "Go tell Peter..."

...and I heard it through two thousand years of time as if it was my name- and I cried!

You died for me while I was a sinner!

On the very night I forgot who I was and who you were and ARE!

You did it all for me!

You knew I couldn't do it for myself. 


Jesus knows all of my inadequacies and failures and yet turns to me and asks me to feed his sheep! 

Doesn't He know who I am?

Yes. Yes, He does.

He knows exactly who I am.

The question is: Do I know who He is? 










 

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