Love Anyway, Mama

 This Mama was born into slavery. She already had a daughter and a son when she learned she was expecting a third baby.  She tried to keep it a secret. The Pharoah had made a law that all baby boys should be thrown into the river. 

Maybe it would be a girl.

The day came for the baby to be born. Maybe Amram and Jochebed didn't even call the midwife. Jochebed tried not to make any noise as the sweat rose on her forehead. Amram soon held the tiny human in his hands. They cleaned him off. It was a boy. They exchanged knowing looks. Quietly they removed any evidence. Maybe no one would notice. 

For three months no one noticed. 

For three months the tiny baby nursed and slept and barely fussed. She held him and prayed over him.

For three months their secret was safe.

But how much longer could they hide him?

Jochebed knew it was only a matter of time before someone would find out. So, she decided to follow the law- literally! If her baby was going to be thrown into the river, it would be by her hands, in her way and time. She worked for several days, making the little basket, sealing ever crack. Praying and crying. One day it was ready. She nursed him a little longer. She held him a little tighter. Then, she placed him in the basket and covered him securely. 

Little Miriam was with her. Mama's helper. She had been through so much in her little life. She was also being prepared for great things. This was just the beginning of her ministry.

They placed the tiny basket in the river. Miriam stayed to watch from the reeds along the riverbank.

 Miriam's mom left, pretending like nothing had happened, as if the last year had been a dream. She chatted with the other women. She attended to her tasks. But inside she was crying out to God for mercy. Praying for a miracle. There seemed to be no way. I presume she didn't have a whole lot of experiences with the miraculous. Yet, she believed in the power of God. 

Suddenly, her thoughts were interrupted by her little girl running towards her. Was it over? Had her precious baby been eaten by a crocodile, or discovered by soldiers?

"The princess wants to see you, Mama!" little Miriam called out, tears streaming down her cheeks. Jochebed dropped what she was doing. The rest of the world vanished behind her as she ran faster than she had ever run before.

That evening she sat and held her baby. Moses was the name the princess had given him. "Moses!" she whispered as she nursed him. She tried to hide her tears. God had answered her prayers. Moses was alive! She treasured the moments she had with this little one, pouring into him all that she was allowed to. Physical food as well as spiritual. Singing songs of the promised land as he drifted off to sleep. -knowing her time was short. 

The nourishment she gave him planted seeds that would grow for the next eighty years. Was Jochebed still alive to see the exodus from Egypt? I doubt it. She was probably buried in Egypt. She didn't know that her son would be the one to lead her people to freedom. 

Oh, how important her job was!

We don't know what future plans God had for our children either. We don't know what experiences they will have, or what kind of world they will live in several decades from now.

But right now, as we hold them close, we have an amazing opportunity to fill them with tools they will need wherever this life takes them. Fill them with scripture. Instill in them a love for God's Word. Sing songs to them about God's love and hope for the future. And, most of all pray for them. It's probable that we will never see the end result of these prayers we pray over our children, and grandchildren. But don't lose hope! Those prayers will not be in vain. 

We don't know how much time we have to hold them. 

Probably less than eighty years.

Sometimes, being a Mama might feel pointless. Constantly cleaning up never-ending messes. Or maybe your kids are older, and they are making choices that hurt your heart (like when Moses killed someone and fled into the desert.). Don't stop praying for them.

Even if they don't make the choices you hoped they would. 

Even if you don't get as much time with them as you thought you would.

Even if no one says, "Thank you."

Love them anyway! Cherish each moment and be all in! You have the most important job in the world! 

The Patience of Caleb

 

Jojo and I are reading in the book of Joshua again. I'm not going to try to explain, or even understand, some of the very hard chapters in this book. But one small passage stood out to me this time. It was about a man named Caleb.

Caleb had been on this journey since they left Egypt. He was about 40 years old at the time of the exodus! Caleb's voice was part of the cry that reached heaven in Exodus 3:7 The cry that changed an 80-year-old Moses's occupation from shepherd to deliverer . His hand may well have painted the doorpost of his slave quarters with lamb's blood. His body probably held scars of his time in slavery. However, he was different than the others in his generation.

HE BELIEVED!

He believed that Moses was sent by God. He believed that, even though things seemed to get worse, at first, they would be free people soon! He walked through the Red Sea and watched as his Egyptian owners were washed away. That life was over. A new one had begun. 

He didn't complain about the walking, or the heat, or the cold, or the times he felt thirsty. He ate manna every day with a thankful heart! Bread from Heaven! Angel's food!

Soon they reached the Promise Land. The land that Caleb's ancestors had lived in many years before, but had never forgotten. The land that was now occupied by GIANTS!

Caleb believed God would keep His promise.

When Moses sent a man from each tribe to spy out the land, Caleb was one of them. Caleb walked through an area called: Kadesh-Barnea. He took note of everything. He was ready to come back and conquer the land! Soon they would be free people in their own land. Caleb was ready to see what God would do next.

Joshua and Caleb's excitement is hard to miss, even after centuries and a few translations. It was time!

But no one else seemed excited. They were discouraged. They felt defeated before the battle even began. The beautiful, promised land would not be inhabited by this generation. They must wander in the wilderness for 40 years!

Moses assured Caleb and Joshua that they would live to return and take possession of the land.

Finally, the day came.

Joshua was the leader. 

City by city and piece, by piece, the land was claimed by God's people. Music brought walls down, the sun and moon stood still, and giants were slain. Gradually, each tribe, each family was able to claim their inheritance.

Then, Caleb went to visit his old comrade, Joshua.

"I am 85-years-old today." he said. "...still strong as ever. I'm ready for the land that Moses promised me."

Joshua gave him his blessing.

The Anakim lived there. Giants. A people group still spoken of in hushed tones. Mysterious beings, strong and fierce.

Caleb was ready. He had been ready 40 years ago, and he was even more ready now! 

Caleb could have settled somewhere the younger soldiers had already conquered. But he wanted the land he had explored all those years before. The land of the giants! 

This brave, strong warrior took the hill (Joshua 14:12) and claimed Hebron or himself and his descendants. I wonder if some of them are living there today. I wonder if any of them are as brave as Caleb.

Has God promised you something? Do you feel like, by the time it comes you'll be too old to enjoy it? Remember, Caleb. The man who patiently watched almost everyone else in his generation get discouraged and give up. But who never lost hope and lived to see the fruition of what he had been walking towards his whole life:

 Rest, Peace and Freedom!

A Wasted Life (chapter 2)

 My poor husband had to endure hearing me vent when I got home.

"PE is nothing to mess around with! Jonah might have known the warning signs if he had paid attention!"

My sweet husband paused the video game he was playing with our son and looked up. I could tell he was already lost. 

"I'm a teacher." he reminded me. "I have a feeling PE means something different to me, than it does to you."

"PE, pulmonary embolism." I knew that information didn't help. Sometimes I wish I had someone in my family who spoke my language! But I suppose that would be boring. 

'It's basically a blood clot that moves from the leg to the lungs. It can be deadly." I answered in words he could understand. "Evidently, he has been ignoring symptoms for several weeks: -a swollen, sore leg, followed by a lingering cough and shortness of breath. Who ignores shortness of breath!?"

"I hear ya, but to be fair, he did eventually go to the hospital, and he is going to be okay, right?" 

"No! I mean, yes, he went, but he WOULD have died if it hadn't been for a customer of his. Jonah had just arrived at the scene of an accident. The ambulance was getting ready to leave. When Jonah stepped out of his truck he stumbled and fell on the ground. Someone waved for the EMT's to come over. If they hadn't been right there, it could have been a lot worse."

Later that evening, after the kids were in bed, my husband spoke up. "I think I know what is really bothering you." He always seemed to know, even when I didn't. I had been venting all evening, but now I just sat, ready to listen.

"I don't think it is Jonah you are worried about. I think it is you!"

"What!?" I asked "If Jonah had made better life decisions..." I stopped myself. It was time to listen.

"I think you are wondering if YOU made the right life decisions."

"I love being a nurse. We both agreed that it would make more sense for me to work and you to stay home with the kids." But even as I heard myself speak those words, I realized that he was right. Caleb was wonderful at homeschooling the kids. I got depressed when I was home all day. Also, nursing made more money than teaching. But deep inside I wondered if this was the best way to do life.

Why had I made the decisions I had? How far back should I go?

"Most of your life decisions you have made to please someone else." my husband explained. 

I was the oldest child in my family. I wanted so much to please my parents and grandparents. I wanted to do things right! So, when Grandma said I would make a good nurse, and Grandpa said he would help pay for it, I joined medical school. Did I even pray to see if that was what GOD wanted me to do with my life? I had prayed! Right?!

"I wonder what my life might have been like if I didn't worry so much about what people thought and did what I truly believe God wanted me to do."

"It might not have been that different." Caleb suggested. 

"I know one thing I would have changed if I could." I teased. "We would have had more kids!"

Caleb laughed. "Yes! And we would have gotten married earlier!"

"Definitely!" I laughed, remembering how miserable we had been the last half of our engagement year.

Caleb was wonderful. He always knew what to say. 

He held me close and soon fell asleep. 

I couldn't sleep though. The cool darkness slowed my thoughts so I could sort them out. Why was anger the emotion I felt when I heard that Jonah was at the hospital? Wouldn't concern, sympathy, or even fear, make more sense? What was wrong with me? 

What if it wasn't Jonah I was angry at? 

Maybe I was angry at myself because I, the nurse, should have been able to prevent this. I should have noticed he was favoring one leg. I should have thought about the risk of blood clots and warned him about sitting too much. I should have kept him from becoming a tow truck driver. It is a very dangerous profession!

What was I thinking? 

Did I really think I had the power to prevent the blood clot? And, even if I did, would I have really kept him from following his passion?

How silly of me!

"I'm sorry for getting mad." I whispered into the darkness, to no one in particular.

I fell asleep imagining what my life might have looked like if I followed my passion. What was my passion. Did I have one?