In today's culture, there are many stories of people who have been mistreated by those close to them. Stories on my Facebook newsfeed tell of friends learning to stand up for themselves against bullies. We applaud them and pray for those who are trapped in abusive relationships. We look for resources to help those mistreated. But, a couple weeks ago I heard a conversation that ended completely differently than I had come to expect on Facebook.
Someone brought up a confrontational subject.
Someone else teased.
And, suddenly it was war!!!
The teasing turned quickly to anger followed by threats.
How often have we seen this play out on social media? Soon there is a mob mentality, with everyone voicing their opinions, people blocking others, and reporting posts.
But, this time the comments stopped abruptly after only two people commented. Within two hours the post disappeared. I knew family or friends of the author had helped calm the situation.
I know the author. I know this person is often angry and says things that are hurtful. But, I also know this person is very much loved. And, he/she is not dangerous.
I wrote to the other person in the conversation, who had been verbally attacked. My heart hurt for the older gentleman. He didn't deserve to be treated this way.
But, he wasn't nursing hurt wounds. He didn't sound defeated.
He said, "I love him!"
He didn't say it was okay, but he acknowledged his part in the flare-up (though from my perspective he was innocent). He bore no grudge against his lifelong friend.
I, being a woman of many words, continued jabbering about how I just don't understand. And, even though a person has brain injuries, disabilities, or trauma, that is no excuse to treat people like that!
He said, "We had a wonderful childhood. We grew up like brothers. I love him and his family."
He explained that, while the church community he grew up in didn't get everything right, they were a close and supportive family. As he grew he realized that their tribe (a modern-day term, not his wording) was not perfect. In fact, not one human in all of scripture (except for Jesus) was without flaws. Some had very glaring faults! No one got everything completely right.
He told me that the Body of Christ is made up of many diverse, flawed people from all denominations and walks of life.
Then, he said, "Forgiveness is a crucial key to us Christians!"
I have heard that statement before. In fact, I have a shirt somewhere that says, "Forgiveness is key." But, somehow the word crucial made it more than a good saying. Not just a truth that would help us live a more meaningful life, but necessary for survival in the Kingdom of God!
I'm not old and wise yet. I still lash out in anger when I feel I am not being heard. I don't think I have ever reacted correctly in a stressful situation. So, who am I to judge someone who is also flawed- like me?
As a mom, I have been treated badly. I've been bitten, thrown up on, slapped in the face, and stepped on. Not to mention kicked in the ribs! But, none of those things made me block my precious babies from my life.
Why not?
Because my love for them was greater than the pain inflicted by my little one!
I understood the maturity level of a preborn infant or even a toddler. And, most of the time... well, some of the time anyway, I chose to handle the situation with maturity and grace. But to show that grace to someone who is older and should know better?!
Well, am I ever shown grace and mercy when I don't deserve it?
I loved the little sermon. I have been pondering it for over a week. This is part of why I didn't write a blog post last week: I was still digesting this lesson, and I guess I still am. I don't think I will fully grasp it until I am an old white woman, or maybe even not until I am made new in the Kingdom of God.
My wise friend shared Ephesians 4:13 with me:
"..until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God, as we mature to the full measure of the stature of Christ."
I will end with something else he said:
"We are all imperfect children of the perfect God."
[Please note that I am definitely NOT suggesting criminals, like domestic violence perpetrators, be shown mercy and grace. God was very clear about telling His people to protect themselves from certain people, and not show them mercy.]
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